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Why am i horrible to my husband

why am i horrible to my husband but i just can't accept the way he is & it still phases me when i hear him acting this way. Brian Parker discuss how to tell a husband he's bad in bed. Hi, I hope someone can offer me some advice. but the damage is already done. The following story first appeared on Role Reboot. There's nothing wrong with that. At 2:30AM, sitting in a rental car outside a bar in Cambridge, MA, my husband said, “I don’t think we should be married anymore. He broke up with her to date me, but I knew her prior to that. . "My husband has become a stranger to me, I don't even know who he is anymore. so i told my husband and since it was in beverly hills My husband is a complete twat, sometimes I feel like I hate him and I think he must hate me but I don't know why. however the amount of times of I have been shut down and told that I am things that I am not or that I am doing things that I am not or at least had not intention of doing has finally after 30 years left me feeling that is to best to just present a revised expected version of myself to my husband. My husband talks bad about me behind my back We went to counseling and he swore I was the best wife. Married to a Narcissist ~ *(I am not a psychologist, I have experience with this situation and I am sharing from that and my own research. We have 2 kids that live with me now. That is fine but my issue is that if I am tired or sleepy he gets upset. As you pray and learn from God’s Word together, God will help both of you become the loving partners He wants you to be. ” This was helpful in prompting me to change and not take what was happening personally. my parents and our family faced very difficult issues and they And I don’t think it makes any woman like a slave of any sort to strive not to deny her husband sex. I followed him in there and he said, “Leave me alone!” but I kept pushing. Ironically, one of the main things I loved about my husband was that we could talk. I have noticed that he does everything he can to make me happy and I am horribly mean to him. But I wasn’t going to allow certain things and I quickly made him aware of this. We loaded the kids in the car. My When a husband and wife are truly seeking to honor Christ, they will not want to hurt each other—quite the opposite, they will want to encourage each other. She was married but whenever she needed anything, he would drop what he was doing and rush to help her. He is now in assisted living for Alzheimer's. But my husband James was so clear when he said, “This is not about you, Janet—it’s about our son. Mailed a question about a friend who uses the "silent treatment. I'm more impatient than ever, I speak my mind I am a confident, independent woman who is being emotionally abused by my husband. He is a manual worker and I am a graduate professional. These are My husband and I have been together for 14 years and in the last few months he has started becoming increasingly annoyed and angry with me over what I perceive to be insignificant or minor things such as misplacing a sock from the dryer, turning on the lamp to read when we’re both awake. i really have to change my behavior Wai Ping Chan September 12, 2010 at 10:56 pm Good quiz!I think my boyfriend not a controller, and we have good relationship too. QuizMoz offers one of the Internet's largest collection of quizzes for you to tease your brain and pit your wits against the experienced QuizMoz quiz masters. I wanted us to work on our communication problems and strengthen our marriage, only to be lied to in my face and talked about like a dog behind my back. I get bad pms. He is outgoing but is rough around the edges in social settings. The important thing to consider is what you can do to remedy those issues. I am addicted to thinking about and finding out information about my husband’s ex-girlfriend. I am so tired of my husband always asking me for sex. Excuse #1: I’d rather settle for him than be alone. He was my third marriage and, I'm sure, my last. org, I lost my husband of 21 years in April. Are You A Bad Person? Of course I know which one is the recycling bin Posted on May 19, 2014, 22:11 GMT I am still on a dating website even though I am in a relationship. (2010). Evan, I am having problems with my husband. I got up, showered, got ready, and went to get the kids. I cheated on my husband and I my husband has such a negative attitude towards everything!!we have been together for 12 yrs. I was meeting up with my sister and a few of our friends. Brian Parker will discuss sex issues with each arguing for their gender. While the confidence gained from the affair may have given her the spark she needed to get out of a bad I am a very high strung person (take after my father) and my husband very laid back. He is the nicest boy I know and he treats me like a princess…and I know that if any guy treated me the way that I treat him I would break up with him. I feel sorry for my husband because of this. I know that he was contacting women on dating sites and when I confronted him his only comment was that he was lonely. I am currently estranged from my Malignant Narcissistic husband who has left me nothing short of homeless with three kids, destroyed my real estate business after wiping my retirement and savings out & made it pretty much impossible for me to work because he constantly monopolized my time attending to him. I guess I feel like I am this horrible person and like I am the only person in the world that failed a marriage. Family even moved back to the area to be around him more. (not click bait unfortunately) - Duration: 11:48. But then they started talking about sex with their husbands and boyfriends. You may not push your husband away intentionally, but there are 10 things you might be doing that are keeping him at a distance. That Bad Bad Feeling Inside from my husband I am learning to look through the newly opened doors rather than trying to get through the one that closed. I will not dump false guilt on myself, but if I as a woman have not functioned as a wife or homemaker, I will start the process to correct any lack. Then he enters the scene to hand-hold the pissed off teenager while pointing out just how angry and bitter I am. We loved each other as far as I know. It was almost as if her personality just couldn't be content if things were too calm for too long. Loading Unsubscribe from YourTango? my husband left me. i have waited, and tried, and begged, and cried. i know it upsets them but he says 'its just words'. Hi i think i am acting like your wife and while my husband is working he does a lott of what you do at times – yet he also doesnt talk to me or maybe my sarcasm makes him quiet – i dunno but i hate that he is not stronger than me and i dont feel protected. I know many people would look at me and feel disgust or sadness if they knew my secrets, and perhaps they should. A Wife Responds Beautifully to Her Husband’s Bad Mood October 13, 2013 February 27, 2018 user Conflict , Controlling Wife , empowering my husband's leadership , Godly Femininity , insecurity , oneness in marriage , peace , respect for husband , win him without a word But he is my partner in life and there are many days I am guilty of pushing him away. The more time I spend away from him, the more desperate I feel to get him back. Kyle Gabhart is a devoted husband and father of 6. She said “I miss my husband so much during the separation that it physically hurts. I am struggling every single day. Reader’s Question. I have approached this from a females perspective, as that is what I am and what I have been dealing with in my husband). I've lost alot of friends who do not understand this, and a relationship. Regardless of religion, however, to improve marriage, my belief is that a husband should avoid defensiveness and work on showing his wife love and respect to his wife. He showed me in words and in action. i think he criticize me, he thinks its to help me improve. Mazel is the energy which I love my husband but he doesn’t feel the same from the start,he told my friend that am not the kind of woman he wld love to marry,but still I went and marry him because I was already pregnant. I HATE the hurt I am causing my husband but only wanted to go back for the right reasons and not because I felt guilty. Five women share the reasons that led them to stray. How I survived after my husband left me When I found out my marriage was over, I thought my life was over too. com – Author Dani Miser shares 10 common excuses used to justify staying in a bad relationship and why none of them are good reasons. We do it once in a week during weekends cos my three kids take up so much time. Hi my name is Samantha I am 20 yeara old my husband and I were married for almost a year been together for 3 years but he was deported back to Mexico and is not able to come back legalized, me and my husband been threw thick and thin together, im his first serious relationship and his first love and he is my guy i would do anything for that i Reading your blog and it’s great to read and very refreshing. He and his wife Tammy, founded Equip Your Marriage , a faith-based ministry dedicated to empowering, equipping, and restoring marriages. Dropped them off at school (okay, day care). (3) Tell him he can have his alone time, as long as you get the same amount of time for yourself, too. Although I trust my husband, I will always trust my intuition a little more and pay attention to my gut feeling. Why I Cheated On My Husband. Why do you feel you cannot divorce…I am a Christian an was raised by a mother that was raised with the strict belief that it is a sin to have more than one husband or sexual partner ever;;; I know logically that this is not an unforgiveable sin but spiritually I struggle with it. I feel so bad about all this. He is "My husband was a good man, but I was bored inside and out," she says. Dear Stanton: My husband just told me that he is “Addicted” to sports. My family is everything to me, it just gets hard when I am repeatedly told how horrible I am. I love him as my best friend but, despite still having sexual urges, I no longer feel attracted to him. Anger is common. He is also a blogger, public speaker, entrepreneur, and author of the up-coming book The Phoenix Marriage . However, this question reminds me of another good one I got a while back, about why a reader’s husband only wants sex when she isn’t in the mood. It must be hard to have me crying etc every month. Baseball in its season. Dear Ex-Husband, When I saw you in your driveway yesterday, at our routinely scheduled pickup time, it occurred to me suddenly that I have not seen you naked in almost two years. There are plenty of reasons why you may not be attracted to your husband. We worked all day. My husband and I have been together for 6 years, married for one. I posted this on my home board but I am not sure if you ladies might be able to help me! I don't know why but since the day we came home from the hospital I have not been feeling the same about my husband. it annoys me, my bedroom is my "comfort/safety zone". It's a normal response when you sense a threat or a social or professional slight. I am so mean to my kids all day and when they go to sleep I feel bad about it and want to wake them up to make up for it. He helped me through my divorce (I was married for 23 yrs. If you was to ask my partner the same questions it would be bad. I am sick of her and I don't want to visit her anymore and don't feel that my adult children need to be manipulated like I was and be around her negative attitude anymore. My name is Steph Morgan am from USA i am very happy for the wonderful work dr guru has done for me i got married to my lovely husband last year February and we have a lovely son. He is intelligent but not driven. My love for my husband has greatly decreased since we got married, because of his behaviour. Anyways it got so bad i called telehealth which told me to go to the hospital. However, there are still those days where I resent that all of the cleaning and care of the kids are my responsibilty by default and don't want to touch him at the end of the night. Well anyways, my husband was all freaking out he has a physical to do to get a job, he seemed mad that I was sick and needed him to care for our 9 month old girl. I try and think back to what I may have done to him to make him like this and I just can't think of anything. my husband always loved performing oral sex on me. " "He doesn't show any interest in me or what I do. Am a nurse,this is a story of my love life. I have been married for 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 4months until i met a post where this man Dr OLOKUM have helped someone and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover I love my husband but he doesn’t feel the same from the start,he told my friend that am not the kind of woman he wld love to marry,but still I went and marry him because I was already pregnant. I know I was in a crazy making partnership, but while trying to lead my life, I find that I have been examining myself. I let him enrolled in college for our better future. 2. The nephew is now 9 and ok but they were very lucky. Great post! I too used to worry and over prepare…now I know my husband and son will be fine. hes not doing really to the youngest, just the older ones. CBN. Emotions tend to get me with pregnancy more than physical things. now am so miserable,he doesn’t give me money or love,he always find a way to bring me down always,he has never seen any good in me,I try to impress i am a very calm and reasonable person (especially when i am in a fight with him) and i never get fed up ever. Here are the 10 sure signs of a bad husband that will help you change and be a better husband. I am separated with my husband for 5 years and I met a man . A Wife Responds Beautifully to Her Husband’s Bad Mood October 13, 2013 February 27, 2018 user Conflict , Controlling Wife , empowering my husband's leadership , Godly Femininity , insecurity , oneness in marriage , peace , respect for husband , win him without a word I am I the same situation I get called all the horrible degrading names you can think of I sleep with my boss at work all his freinds and family hate me then sometimes says sorry but 5 mins later it’s the same again been with him 15 years and it has always been the same never knew a kind and caring relationship get jealous of my freinds and I’m 26 years old and when I married my husband 6 years ago today and I weighed 95 pounds with an eating disorder I kept secret ND I got pregnant right away during the honeymoon and not 6 years 3 kids and severe anxiety {I had to get a companion animal it’s gotten so bad} I’m up to 135 and my husband hates how I look. Don't get me wrong, I can and do I have this vivid memory of being in the hospital room with my wife the night after our third daughter was born and how happy my wife was to wake up to nurse this kid at 3:00 AM and change her Yesterday was a completely normal day. like that is supposed to make me feel better. I am a stay at home mom. Trina Read and Dr. In both of these cases, the husband becomes selfish or manipulative and the wife wonders why she is getting so much rejection. But my heart is with my ex. Names in the last 2 days are 'mongs' and 'wasters' they are age 21, 18, 14 and 7. I need help. I do not take sides behind the scenes, but i am tired of hearing, “that’s not what my dad did when i was his age” or, “look, I’m just trying to prepare him for the real world” I don’t agree that my husband should bully my son and call him names to prepare him. I hate to bring it up, but to be honest, when a husband asks for time by himself, it's usually one of the first signs of an affair. Love letter to my husband Here’s my most recent love letter to my husband — hubs says I should share it because it speaks volumes on marriage in general . whenever i get these horrible thoughts i think about having sex with this girl from school My husband and I were in the backyard, lazing in the sun, sipping drinks as he told me about what he got up to the night before. My husband does not have a job, smokes pot every day, physically assaults me, prevents me from going to church, barely talks to me, does not have sex with me, calls me names, left me alone in the ER, never takes me on dates, spends mos of his time on draft kings. I don’t like how friendly my husband is with my sister and how friendly she is with him. When he was asked why, he replied, “Well, Peg is short for Pegasus who was an immortal horse, and an immortal horse is an everlasting nag, so that’s why I call my wife Peg!” Nagging will do one of two things to men: Either it will make him resist and become obstinate, or he will give in to keep the peace. He backed down, but not without a lot of resentment in the beginning. i became anxious and sad,am thankful It is so bad, I've limited myself to the upstairs & mostly my bedroom, I hate leaving my room, even to 2 the restroom. My husband did try to posture in the days and weeks after my learning about the affair. Some of those cycles may even get really bad. And YES your marriage would be better if he was more kind. My husband if 16 years told me that My husband, most of the time, is incredibly nice to everybody. My husband is verbally abusive to our children and its really getting me down. I'm Kaitlyn Houston and i live in USA, my husband and i had a little fight because of that he wanted to divorce me i was so afraid to lose him because i love him very much so i search online for help and i saw alot of people's testimonies on how Dr Great help them and came out with positive My husband can’t seem to go a month without chasing after another woman. Dr. A Reader Writes… My husband left me two weeks ago after 18 months of marriage and five years together. I have authored the books, Lists to Love By for Busy Husbands , Lists to Love By for Busy Wives , and All Pro Dad: 7 Essentials to Be a Hero to Your Kids . But the first thing I would do is to take him to his health care provider for an evaluation. My husband told me a horrible story about his nephew who sleptwalked at age 4. He doesn't get as "excited" or "angry" about things, as fast or easily as I do. Your wife is a spoiled brat. It started years ago with his co-worker. My husband said it is my problem and won’t go to counseling. I am so furious with my husband I could just spit. My husband and I both work, so he helps out anytime I ask for it. Read on to know the signs at New Love Times So I am in love, and I Husband has the entirety of our marriage being the whisperer or calm parent when i am on my last nerve ending. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years, and we have very young children. Maybe it’s just me being insecure but I get the feeling he wishes he’d met my sister before he met and married me. I feel the same here. I told my ex-husband to move out and I pushed to file the divorce after 16 yrs marriage. My daughters see me angry and I don’t know how to be better. If you break the pressing challenges into smaller chunks they seem manageable. M y husband and I married when we were 21 and I was his first sexual partner. As he talked, his face looked brighter, his eyes clearer. . This works both ways too. Does your husband, wife or intimate partner use the silent treatment when upset The mission of The Forgiven Wife is to encourage Christian wives as they work to grow in their approach to sexual intimacy in their marriages. Hi, so 2 years ago I found out my husband had a profile for cheating at a social media place for called Ashley Madison, it broke my heart because I hacked into his account and read everything, he was talking to a bucch of girls and slept with a few. whenever i see my brothers or parents or little kids or my dog or anyone it would be repulsive to have sex with i think about it and its just horrible and invading my life but your article has really helped i now know that i am not a creep or wierdo ps. For those of us making a new life after divorce, we hope and believe in second chances and this often includes a second marriage. I was like that with my first pregnancy and still am with this pregnancy, I am so mean to my husband but I feel like I can't stop, even when I realize I'm being really rude, I don't stop. Makes me start to believe it, and just be resigned to feeling like I am just not built to be a good, responsible dad. When bad things happen, we blame ourselves. I snap at alot of little things. We went home. The outer layer is what you're speaking about, while the deeper layers beneath represent the issues beneath this. Not playing them, but watching them. The other day we had a bad argument, and he pushed me down on something that bruised my back from the impact. My husband has refused to have intimate relations with me for 9 years. At one time or another, everyone feels anger bubbling up. mindbodygreen My husband cheated on me with a courtier and produced a bastard. my parents and our family faced very difficult issues and they So I must have come across this website in my attempts at understanding my sister and her Reverend husband of the Methodist Church persuasion. My husband is my second husband. Weirdly enough I didn't get a "reason for imprisonment" despite the fact that I obviously should be able to imprison and execute them both without penalty. I am so glad (sad) to read about the other people sweeping child abuse under the rug in the family… Was molested from the age of 5-15 by my 1st Aunt husband and it literally turned me into a horrible person later on in life because I carried it and still to this day are carrying it but the big bang of it all is when I sat down and wrote letters to my family member about the molestation and their responses were why didn't I say something back "Due to one decision I made that was difficult but honest, I am following my true life path and loving every moment on my journey. Trump says it is 'going to be some really bad day' for the country and 'you will see bad things' if Democrats take control of Congress; I am generally exhausted by the time my husband comes I know that I am being unfairly mean to my boyfriend but it's like I can't help myself. There isn't love in our relationship and he doesn't know hoe to genuinely show it. I would never move on. I think we have a pretty good balance of family time, solo time, and one on one time with our son. My husband, most of the time, is incredibly nice to everybody. We picked the kids up. Anyway i always well its been like 2 weeks that i dream about him i dream that i try to get him back or that im cheating on my husband with him. George, I’ll answer your questions. I am not divorcing my husband but his father as my husband is totally dependent on his parents at the age of 50!!!!! Get out as soon as you can as you can never change them. " I am a college graduate, a learned man, but cannot seem to make any money. Who you are and who your husband is mixes to form the dynamics of your marriage. I told him I am through with him and his cheating ways. My dad died two days back. (NEVER) So I am having help me to do this challenge. I know you want your husband to change not be so mean. Apparently he never wanted to marry an attractive woman. I don't need him to do any of that for me. Vivz September 6, 2016 at 8:03 pm. My cyo February 15, 2017 Reply. I don’t know that it’s anything amazing but it might just be the little something you were needing to hear to encourage you, remind you, or maybe even inspire you. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and in the last few months he has started becoming increasingly annoyed and angry with me over what I perceive to be insignificant or minor things such as misplacing a sock from the dryer, turning on the lamp to read when we’re both awake. If my husband left me because of what I did, I am certain that I would die of a broken heart. " The reader wanted to understand what this was all about. If my body does get cold boy does the pain kick in, i mean absolutely all of my bones ache. no f♤♡♢ your opinion. My husband works as a medic and my boys love him. After 20 years of restricting the sex life in my marriage, I have learned to dance with desire and enjoy the full intimacy that comes with passionate and joyful sex with my husband. The word "mazel" is derived from the Hebrew verb "nozel" which means to flow. I do not understand my ex-husband’s manipulative ways In 1996 I found my spouse to be having an affair. You have articulated exactly the way my dh responds to me when I try to connect with him. We just hung out at a cafe and talked about the usual things. He hasn't cheated on me, I'm sure about that, nor have I cheated on him. Therefore, I talk about this next subject with some trepidation. I am a horrible wife because, in my mind, while I'm dreading that kind of intimacy, other wives are on their knees panting when their husbands walk in the door. Well I think am not so matured to say you anything but I am seriously feeling very bad for you …well I am 23 and I been feeling very lonely because no one is here to listen me and understand me …I don’t use to speak with my mom dad because they didn’t care me ever andthat is why my life is not going smoothly I had girlfriends but they Please help me to explain what the reason why I dreamed about ex gf of my husband in my dreamed my husband introduced to me and he told me that he will leave me now and my 3kids and he will come with her ex instead of our family… I am the president of the national non-profit organization, Family First , and the voice of a daily radio program called The Family Minute. I hate feeling obligated to have her at my house as I have every holiday of our lives and force my children to "tolerate" her for my sake. My husband and I agree that we were not on the same page and are working on that now but see I am so lucky that my husband is not one to yell at all. I am nearing 70 now, and all I have done since he passed away is sleep and cry. From your question, it sounds like you are attracted to your ex-husband, who loves another woman, but she is still attached to her husband. for I am grieving the teenage boy that became my best friend, the boyfriend who was my “first,” the husband I married, the lover who loved me, and the father of my children. My Agony is my husband who keeps telling me I have 'large saggy breasts' and also that my upper lip and face is looking 'old and haggard'. Kay, I've recently stopped taking Lexapro after 6 years, cold turkey, my withdraws are horrible and so is my anxiety along with my panic attacks. The only way I know that I am out of sync is when I am outside, I am happy as I feel i am the right temperature. But he never forgets anything he needs to remember or wants to do. I am so happy to have been able to share my experience in a positive way with others. My horrible husband My husband doesn't want me, doesn't speak with me, doesn't romance me, but if i want to leave and move on, he won't let me. Kaitlyn01 Hello everyone i am happy to spread my testimony of a strong spell caster called Dr Great. I have gained 20 Was molested from the age of 5-15 by my 1st Aunt husband and it literally turned me into a horrible person later on in life because I carried it and still to this day are carrying it but the big bang of it all is when I sat down and wrote letters to my family member about the molestation and their responses were why didn't I say something back If your husband is not just giving you a bad time but really is struggling with feelings or beliefs about things happening that didn't happen, there are really only a couple of possibilities. Im married with my babys daddy and im happy so i dnt knw why i keep dreaming about my ex. Thank you Dr. I am currently divorcing my husband after 25 years of marriage. My only conclusion was that my wife was an unhappy and unreasonable woman, who couldn't deal with the fact I was basically a good (albeit imperfect) husband and father. Football in its season. The reason why this current relationship is working so well is that my BF understands how I hold friendship on par with romantic relationships and how I will at times say no to hanging out with him in order to spend time with friends, or cancel plans with him if a friend is going through a crisis (and I am more than happy when he has to do the Welcome to the QuizMoz Are you A Good Husband?. We have had a hard life but I am not the ***** he tells people I am. And everybody, from myself, to my husband, to the doctors, to the system and to you, dear reader, needs to understand that it is OUR story. It began when our first child was born over a decade ago. I told him everything about my status and he accepted until we became girlfriend and boyfriend. A person can only take so much and if both people aren’t working on it, the one that really suffers is the person that is trying but the effort isn’t reciprocal. Pushing people away can happen unintentionally. Dear GoodTherapy. so he drove me and we got a babysitter. Why does my husband lie to his friends and family about me? He tells people bad things about me, lies, makes himself out a perfect angel. He was only 56 and died very suddenly. He was the only sane person in our family, never complained about his pain. He controls his anger well. My husband told me earlier tonight that he loves me, but I'm not physically attractive to him. We argue and fight a lot, almost once every week and sometimes he tells me that although he would never leave me as he loves me a lot, he wants a break, like a month or so from me so that he can relax and enjoy without fights. Turns out it was the best thing that ever happened to me. He told me if he married a pretty girl he would have to worry about other men making advances or the pretty wife divorcing him for another man. and it ended because my ex husband is an alcoholic) This was a person I've known for over 30 years -- I truly felt he was the love of my life. I know I am an awful mother, but I am doing the best I can. org, I'm wrestling with whether to ask my husband for a divorce. I love my husband but I'm embarrassed by him because he lacks ambition and intelligence. cyo February 15, 2017 Reply. i hold my temper when times he does this (shout or throw things) because i know if i get angry and be like him, it will only led to divorce. until one day my husband started behaving in a strange manner i could not understand, i was very confused with 2) If my husband drops my kids off for any activity because I am unable to, the coach or teacher will be calling me to pick them up because my husband forgot. I know my feelings are valid, I know I have suffered. ekpen for Bringing back my family i am grateful and will always be if you also Need his help his email My name is Elene Jones I am from england i want to share my happiness with the He helped me through my divorce (I was married for 23 yrs. At some point, I think the only option is to separate. He sleptwalked all the way out the front door and on to the highway where he was hit by a car. My husband got up, showered, got ready, and went to walk the dogs. He has a very bad temper, which he has no control over. Here is a continued and longer explanation of the answer already provided. Ed Note: In a series of point-counterpoint articles, Dr. Ok well. Today was the 1st day in almost a month I actually left my house, it was nerve racking and scary but I felt like I had to do it and honestly it was a baby step into feeling "nomal" again. I'm Kaitlyn Houston and i live in USA, my husband and i had a little fight because of that he wanted to divorce me i was so afraid to lose him because i love him very much so i search online for help and i saw alot of people's testimonies on how Dr Great help them and came out with positive Letter To My Husband: To The Love Of My Life January 22, 2018 Dear Todd, I wanted to take a few minutes to tell you about the transformation I have witnessed since I started the Wife After God journey last month. Now, we talk, about the sky, the weather…everything but the issues that stand between us. He says it is just for the sex…. I try very hard to know what I need to say so I can ask my husband the best way possible what did I do to hurt him or try to help him understand why I am hurt over arguments that many times leads to very childish behavior and words on both our parts. things was going well with us and we are living happily. " That year, she was in Chicago on business Grief counseling was invaluable to me after I lost my husband, Sid. this is why i use drugs, because my mind doesnt ease off right away, even if i try to think good thoughts the bad ones creep right back an then i cant stand being around my husband. My fight started the very moment my husband's fight began. Thank you very much for you kind words. "My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their Hmmm, my husband is far too intelligent (read: values his life too much) to try this with me. It was very difficult to go through at the time, but I now have a better understanding and have gained so much knowledge and I am more than happy to share it with everyone. For decades I felt the problem was my husband , with not being satisfied with what was offered in other parts of his ife with things like shifts. There were so many feelings during the grief process that seemed to come out of nowhere. jobs, vacation slots, and holiday work. For years now my husband has been telling lies about me to his family and friends. I feel like my husband and I both blame each other, though I am more vocal about it, and I think this article truly helped me to mature and become responsible for my own emotions a little more! I am sure this will take practice, but I feel more hopeful now. ekpen for what you have just done in my life, for helping me get my husband who left me with two kids years ago, I thank you so much the great Dr. But I have told him over and over, what I need from him when I am starting on a big crying spell. Plan for the future, but rather than focussing on future problems, take things one day at a time. I miss him terribly and feel a huge gaping hole in my heart. I did a bad job of being open with him and didn’t get a chance to say all the things I wanted to say to him. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred. I am so lost and don't know what to do. She wants love, she wants partnership, but all he seems to want is to take care of himself (and to be taken care of). It was a hard discussion to make and I still think about bring him home for me to take care of him. The boys have learned to treat me as a not so important part of the family. I'm Cheating On My Husband: Am I A Bad Person? YourTango. Dear Lauren, I made a mistake-I yelled at my husband to the point that he retreated into his cave. I mean, they were baby feet — those of my almost 5-month-old’s to be exact, so they were somewhat less offensive than had they been, say, my husband’s — but they were feet nonetheless. My husband has hurt me physically four times. Mean mostly to my husband and my thought is because I’m jealous of the amount of sleep he gets along with his perks from work that take him away a lot. Than the whole deck starts to fall apart I try to get to the ground to save my baby and my self but there’s no longer a ground I look around and I see every one has made it every one is ok but my 3 year old and my husband and all at once my two baby girls are in my arms again. it gets me so worked up!!the last thing that happened was my daughter & i were at the mall & was approached for her to try out w acting for commercials. I am looking for advice from other people in my situation because I have been thinking a lot about writing to the other woman to tell her all about how much pain and devastation she has caused me, my children (my two oldest children know about the affair), and also my husband. It just makes me mad cause men are known for cheating if their wife or girlfriend wont perform on them . If I am honest, he lost interest in sex with me after the birth of our Hmmm, my husband is far too intelligent (read: values his life too much) to try this with me. He rarely holds my hand, cuddles or kisses me beyond a peck hello or goodbye. My ex lost sexual interest in me for a period of time, and it was horrible. My husband is into porn, hasn’t wanted sex with me for years, hasn’t had sex with me for 7 years, and hasn’t been there for me for medical issues to support me…like cervical cancer and now possible breast cancer. I am a serial cheater. Yesterday was a completely normal day. the worst i have done is raising my voice and blame him none stop. We are quite imbalanced intellectually too. We have been together for 15 years and have three children. I am feeling so down and so I decided to get a boob job done. Am I just a bad person? Or is there an explanation to my behavior?! He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Tomasulo, D. However, you will learn, grow, get better connected, become wiser, and you will learn new behaviors, make changes, and practice forgiveness. I honestly believed I was a bad person for thinking that I no longer fancied my ex husband, so as not to hurt him, I kept quiet. To sum it all up, although we love each other and we trust and respect each other, we can’t help but to also be curious. I know that my face must have conveyed the relief I was feeling at this revelation, and I’m sorry I lied and said I was distracted by the dog. It's hard to answer the question of why your husband sleeps too much without knowing his age, medical problems, or how much he used to sleep. I don't want my husband to validate my feelings, to understand why I am angry, to understand all I have suffered because of his disease and his behavior. I am sorry you do not have the husband who you can peacefully and lovingly communicate with. I feel under appreciated and like my kindness and helpfulness have been taken advantage of my entire life, and now that I am refusing to help others without getting anything in return, mentally, physically, or monetarily, I am being treated like the bad guy. He is Dear GoodTherapy. ” An hour earlier, I’d grabbed his phone, curious as to whom My problem with sex with my husband was not a lack of drive, Being bi polar my manic highs came with the need for sex so bad it hurt. The guilt factor. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity. " Women tend to be more concerned about their marriages than men. After the third time, I threatened to leave him if he hurt me again. Me and my husband are newly weds and I've always been the independant woman and now am having to deal with so much that I don't know how to express to him and I snap at the smallest thing and I don't know why I moved away from my family friends and everything I've ever know for him and feel like everything I do is wrong. Is it possible for someone to have bad luck? My grandmother used to say about such people that they have "no mazel. He knows the life story of the plumber, the ladies who work in the billing department at work, and will hug anybody, anytime, who One of our readers E. Currently I am having some problems in my marriage and I know that applying some of the points in your blog will make an amazing change. He knows the life story of the plumber, the ladies who work in the billing department at work, and will hug anybody, anytime, who Lisa f. I am attracted to my husband and I thought I was doing everything to express that…massages, surprises, intimacy anytime he wants, “romantic” nights, love notes, love texts throughout the day…and he still feels that I am not attracted to him. I get so depressed I have a hard time holding up my own body and I impulsivley eat. My husband and I were fortunate enough to be able to take several months of leave from our jobs to spend time with him and take fun trips. For example he had told his family that I hated gifts they gave our child, and I was shocked when I found out because I never even said a negative comment. Find out why you're arguing It can be useful to think of an argument like an onion. Talk with your husband, and perhaps others you trust, and decide what is most urgent. I love him with all of my heartand i know he is the one for me. This is a natural, if upsetting, conclusion to jump to, usually followed by the natural, if upsetting defense of - he is just wrong and I am right. " Although the solution seemed crystal clear to Kenya, her husband was not as understanding. "In our community, I always felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole. I am not responsible for my husbands actions, but I am responsible for my RE-actions! I can become what God wants me to be. My husband is a good man, a great father and hasn't done me anything except for the fact that he's not affectionate, not into foreplay and never wants to go out. I cheated on my husband and I Am I just a bad person? Or is there an explanation to my behavior?! He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Tomasulo, D. This was helpful in prompting me to change and not take what was happening personally. I will try to address these concerns in the following article by explaining why husband’s sometimes get in the habit of saying hurtful things and then offering some suggestions on how to address this. Now he wont even attempt it. Which they are because the answer you are giving yourself to the why didn't my husband stick up for me question is - he doesn't love me. My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at age of 56 but there were signs of the disease a year to 2 years before this. It never ceases to amaze me at how lovely, kind and caring he can be and how quickly he turns into Freddy Kruger. I think I just found my reasons why I married my husband right now, I felt irresponsible of putting my happiness in jeopardy. I have those days as well and can empathize. He took my phone by force, badmouthed me to every guy i am just starting to get to know, threatened them and throw his "husband" status around. When I had my baby boy,everything was fine,I became tired and sleep deprived,shortly after I lost my mum in law,and I became alone,I was bathing my baby one day and the intrusive thoughts came,I felt really bad like a bad mum and I prayed to God to have him,I felt bad I could have such thought and guilty. Why am i so good at it? I feel so out of control on the inside but the outside i seem so normal. Response: Relationships are complicated because they are driven by very fundamental and sometimes competing emotions. I've had enough relationships to know that I messed up a good thing and I don't ever want to feel this way ever again. @ Camille. I thought I was not happy in the marriage and started listening to another guy w/ promises. For the next four years it was back and forth between attempts to keep the marriage. why am i horrible to my husband